Kid Dynomite

You are growing so fast inside your Mom. We watched a program on TLC the other night about pregnancy and I have to admit it was a little un-nerving. It's been 30 years since I have been in a womb, I almost wish that when you come out we could have you write an essay on what it was like chilling in your Mother's uterus 24/7. Next Thursday we are having another ultrasound, so when you hear the sound of the amoniotic tornado it's just your parents and mid-wife Rita trying to determine your sex. So try not to be coy and have your hands covering your privates, the suspense is killing me.
On another note maybe I should tell you how life is changing. More and more my thoughts are seemingly scattered. I'm not scared to be a Dad, to me that is an honor. You are a blessing, just as important to me as the blessing of your Mother's love and companionship. But these days I think about things that I had long since forgotten, and life has taken on a new dimension since I realize that whatever plans I try to make for the future not only include your Mother but also you. In the beginning of our relationship, I had no idea where this love with your Mom would lead. We had both been pretty banged up by life in different ways, but in time I began to see that it could be to our advantadge. We are there for one another, just like we will be there for you. No matter what. The depths of our love for each other are un-ending, and our love and commitment to you will be even greater. I see kids in movies and cry now, because I wish with all my heart, boy or girl, that you will have that special kind of bond with me. Maybe we will have our own way of talking that no one outside of our house will understand. And all this is such a big change from just a year ago, when honestly I had lost my faith in true love and had given up my dreams of ever having a family to call my own.
So it's 6 months until we meet little one. A little trick I learned from my neice: there's a stuffed animal that will be in your crib, I sleep with it every night so that my smell will be embedded in it until you get it so dirty we will have to wash it. This might not be very "manly", but I am jealous of your Mother getting to carry you. You can't hear my voice as well as you can hear hers, you get to taste all the food she eats, and pretty much get to hang out with her all the time. When you get out here with the rest of us I am going to stick to you like glue!
I hope you come to realize just as I have what an amazing woman your Mother is. How deep her heart is, just how special she truly is. She is the first woman in my life to challenge me to be something more than what I was. Not to change me or mold me in her image, but to help me become a better person. I had a few relationship bad habits when we got together that have in a few months been undone, and that is something that no other person in 30 years had accomplished. That's one of the many reasons I know she will be a good Mother, she has been such an excellent companion to me.
And I don't think I have told you in any previous post, or even shared this with your Mother. I love you Baby, my deepest desire is to make you proud.